


leave your doubt at the door

by Ro29



Series: Messing around in the Soft Wars Sandbox [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Comfort, Concord Dawn, Fluff, Healthy Adult Conversations are had, Healthy Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Neyo is a bit sad, Vaughn is wonderful, mostly just vaughn and neyo being soft, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ro29/pseuds/Ro29
Summary: There is a conversation that needs to be had.(or; sometimes Neyo still doesn't quite believe Vaughn won't get tired of him. Vaughn responds to this as best he can.)
Relationships: CC-8826 | Neyo/CT-0292 | Vaughn
Series: Messing around in the Soft Wars Sandbox [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937752
Comments: 14
Kudos: 158
Collections: Open Source Soft Wars





	leave your doubt at the door

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SailorSol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSol/gifts), [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/gifts).



> This one is a little less Sol's fault but also very much still sol's fault XD And thank you again Projie for letting me mess around in your sandbox!
> 
> I'm just....so soft about them
> 
> title from 'hole in the silver lining' by the crane wives

It’s a little thing, one that sticks in the back of Vaughn’s brain and makes him frown.

It’s a joke, or it’s meant to be one, he can tell that much. But it sounded less like that and more like a fact, indisputable and inevitable and covered up with laughter to make the hit, when it comes, hurt less.

Neyo didn’t mean for him to pick up on how true he thinks the joke is, Vaughn is fairly sure.

Neyo forgets sometimes that Vaughn isn’t _bad_ at reading intent behind words. He just has a tendency to trip over himself to get his words out, eager and excited, and plow on through finishing the thought in his head before processing what’s been said.

“ _You’ll get sick of me soon.”_ Neyo had laughed, and Vaughn frowns.

It’s getting dark, and their little house on Concord Dawn is cozy and warm and they are both tired.

This is important though, this is something they need to talk about.

Vaughn swings his feet, kicks them out so that they brush the side of Neyo’s chair.

He doesn’t hit the desk when his feet swing back in, is careful not to, it’s Neyo’s and new and Vaughn likes it, doesn’t want to damage it.

Neyo had pretended he wasn’t happy to buy it, didn’t love it. So Vaughn is careful with it, because he isn’t confident that if he damaged it Neyo would get a new one. Might see it as reason enough to think he isn’t allowed that, can’t have something nice that he likes.

He hums, leans into Neyo’s space, steals a slice of the sweet fruit off the plate Neyo has next to him—a compromise, one that had been a hard-fought battle, to get him to eat something other than pudding as a snack—takes the plunge, “I wouldn’t.”

Neyo looks up from the papers he’s working on, raises an eyebrow, “Wouldn’t what?”

Vaughn taps two of his fingers against Neyo’s arm, the peppy beat from a song he’s been playing a lot lately that Neyo likes pretending annoys him. Neyo tenses at the touch, and Vaughn hums along with the beat, keeping his posture open, relaxed and calm until Neyo relaxes.

(Vaughn is all skittering fingers across an arm, tapping fingers against a cheek or back or arm, leaning into space to be close to someone and talking about whatever catches his eye.

Neyo is careful about touch, doesn’t often give it freely, tenses if Vaughn doesn’t telegraph enough.

It’s a tricky balance sometimes. But it’s worth it, every second, for the moments when Vaughn can lay down on Neyo’s leg and watch a holo and Neyo will just huff and card his fingers through his hair. It’s not a burden to try and be more careful when little things like that make Vaughn feel like everything good in the universe is right there and drag little grins out of Neyo.)

Neyo rolls his eyes, “Well? What wouldn’t you do? Get your own snacks?”

Vaughn wrinkles his nose, pokes at Neyo’s cheek in retaliation. He hums, opens his mouth to answer—wants to explain every reason why he could never _possibly_ get sick of Neyo, never stop wanting to see him smile or hear him laugh—but he pauses, pops the fruit into his mouth, forces himself to think about his words, to find a way to say all of that without making Neyo retreat into himself.

“I think,” he says, hands twisting along the edge of the desk, brushing along all the smooth lines and tiny knicks of the design carved into the edges, “that we need to talk about how you think I’ll grow tired of you, about how you seem to be waiting for the moment I decide you aren’t worth enough for me to stay.”

They need to start there, need to talk about that—find some way to get it through Neyo’s head that he doesn’t need him to try and be worthy, doesn’t want him as a pleasant distraction— before Vaughn can begin telling him all the ways he loves him.

Vaughn is new to this too, didn’t realize this was something they needed to talk about. That’s on him, he didn’t piece together just how unused to the idea of someone staying Neyo was. Didn’t realize just how little Neyo thought he was worth to others.

The sun is disappearing, a tiny little sliver Vaughn can just barely see over the horizon from the window. It’s warm, and Neyo looks a little gutted and the room is quiet.

Vaughn kicks his legs out softly, hooks his feet around the arm of the rolly chair and pulls Neyo to him. Neyo’s face is blank, and his shoulders are tense, tight and pushed back and waiting for something he thinks will devastate him if he isn’t prepared, isn’t hiding behind cool indifference and challenge.

Vaughn purses his lips, “This isn’t a conversation that is meant to hurt. This isn’t me saying I’m done with you.” he meets Neyo’s eyes and can’t see past the walls Neyo has slammed up to protect himself from something that isn’t coming, he frowns, reaches for Neyo’s hand. Neyo watches, blankly, as Vaughn holds his hand in both of his own.

“This,” Vaughn continues, tracing idle patterns across the back of Neyo’s hand with his thumbs, “is me telling you very specifically, that the chances of me getting sick of you are slim to none. This is me telling you that I want you to be happy and that _I’m_ happy with _you_.”

He lifts his right hand, keeps hold of Neyo’s hand with his left, and tilts forward, leans into Keldabe and presses a gentle hand to the back of Neyo’s neck.

Neyo flows forward into it, relaxes slowly, so slowly. But that’s okay, Vaughn can wait for this, he can be patient.

“I’m not gonna get sick of you _cyar’ika_.” Vaughn says, firm and gentle and sure.

Neyo huffs at the pet name, breath just the slightest bit shaky. “I didn’t mean it,” he says, as if he doesn’t quite believe Vaughn’s words, covering for something he thought Vaughn wouldn’t catch.

And maybe before this the lie would have held up, but Vaughn is paying attention now, and he shakes his head slowly.

“Yes you did, and I’m not sure yet, what I have to do to make you see that I won’t get sick of you. But I’ll try.”

He hums, squeezes the back of Neyo’s neck gently, continues speaking in the silence Neyo seems hesitant to fill—that’s alright, Vaughn is the talker of the two of them, and he knows it—he doesn’t whisper, but his words are soft, “I don’t need you to give me the world to stay, I don’t need you to ruin yourself for me to love you. I just need you to be you.” Vaughn tilts his head up, presses a kiss to Neyo’s forehead, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize before this that you were struggling.”

Neyo shrugs, leans against Vaughn with his eyes closed, and Vaughn can’t tell if he’s trying to hide from everything Vaughn is saying because he’s unused to it, doesn’t know how to react to it, or if he’s hiding some part of himself away so Vaughn won’t see it.

He sighs, taps the back of Neyo’s hand softly, “You deserve good things, and you are allowed to feel things. And I won’t be mad at you for that.” He pauses, tries to let that sink into Neyo’s head, “You make me laugh and you let me ramble about the randomest things because you know I get excited to share them. You do little things you think I won’t notice because you know they make me happy and even when you’re being a shithead you’re wonderful.”

Neyo inhales, presses his face to Vaughn’s chest, and his grip on Vaughn’s hand is achingly gentle.

This isn’t something Vaughn has ever put into words before, and it’s not something Neyo has ever allowed Vaughn to start without going into embarrassed dramatics to distract him.

Vaughn hopes that for all Neyo is hesitant to believe it, still doesn’t seem to get he’s worth something outside of being a weapon and useful, that he at least believe’s Vaughn when he says he won’t leave.

“Besides” Vaughn smiles, “who else would let me play my music over and over again just because I like the song?”

Neyo chuckles, and groans, still a little shaky, “That song is gonna be stuck in my head for ages now. It’s _awful_.”

Vaughn laughs, protests for the sake of it, “It’s _catchy_! And nice!”

Neyo snorts, and Vaughn takes the opportunity to snatch another slice of fruit.

Neyo rolls his eyes, jabs a finger into Vaughn’s side, “Go get your own, you thief, you were the one who wanted me to eat them.”

Vaughn grins, “Yeah! But it tastes so much better when I steal them from you!”

Neyo smiles, and his expression is soft, and it’s dark and warm and they’re both tired and a little drained, but this was all worth it, will always be worth it.

And maybe, one day, Neyo will believe Vaughn when he tells him all the things he loves about him.

For now, this is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> cyar'ika: darling, sweetheart, beloved
> 
> yall...have i mentioned I love them???? they make me soft
> 
> If you want to find me other places I have a [writing tumblr](https://rose-blooms-red.tumblr.com) and a [fandom tumblr](https://themessofthecentury.tumblr.com)
> 
> Please come yell at me about Star Wars and DC


End file.
